Chain of Fools

By William L. Garvin

“Chain, chain, chain, chain, chain, chain
Chain, chain, chain, chain of fools
Five long years I thought you were my man
But I found out I'm just a link in your chain
You got me where you want me
I ain't nothing but your fool
You treated me mean oh you treated me cruel
Chain, chain, chain, chain of fools.”

Aretha Franklin

This is not an obituary for Joe Biden although it’s hard to imagine how one man can make so many foolish mistakes in one sitting.  First of all, Delaware Yankees should never try “to get their Southern on.”  After Al Gore and Hillary Clinton made the patronizing and idiotic mistake of trying affect a southern dialect, Joe should haves known better.  Asking the voters to take back “North Carolina” while he was in Virginia would have required some rather massive voter fraud.  Of course it is hard to keep track of which of the President’s fifty-seven states you are in with perpetual foot in mouth disease.  Then again, everything is confusing when you think you are in “the twentieth century.”  No wonder the President gave him a timeout for the weekend.  And to think Joe Biden is a heartbeat away from the presidency!

Plato said long ago that “The penalty for wise men that refuse to concern themselves with the affairs of Government is to be governed by unwise men.”  Some have opined recently that we are being governed by unwise men who suffer from “total intellectual poverty.”  Fuel is added to that particular fire when even the President uses foolish phrases such as “trickle down fairy dust” or “trickle down snake oil.”  Granted, his metaphors have always been somewhat childish in form and substance but those are downright embarrassing.  Then again, his economic naiveté probably can’t handle anything more rigorous.  In Colorado, he was actually bragging about his Government Motors bailout.  He said, “Now I want to do the same thing with manufacturing jobs, not just in the auto industry, but in every industry.”  Goodbye America and free market capitalism.  Maybe he missed the quarterly report from his Treasury Department which upped the taxpayer losses from the GM bailout to $25.1 billion dollars.  Maybe he missed the fact that the taxpayers still own 26% of GM stock which currently trades at $22 per share and has to reach $52 in order for us taxpayers to break even!  Maybe he’s forgotten the dozens of bankruptcies with Solyndra and his other ill fated green investments.  Maybe he’s forgotten that his stimulus wasn’t shovel ready, our $16 TRILLION of debt, his 8.3% unemployment, gasoline up to $4.00 a gallon, Russians running maneuvers off our coast, the mid-East shambles and Hillary doesn’t want to be his vice-president.

Foolishly, he doesn’t have time to meet with his jobs council.  He doesn’t have time to meet with his Labor secretary.  He doesn’t have time for cabinet meetings. He doesn’t have time for press conferences.  He doesn’t have time for reporters unless it’s to handle the really tough questions like whether he likes red or green chilies or which superpower he would like to have.  Okay, red…that’s fine but the ability to speak all languages?  What kind of superpower is that?  And to think they say that Mitt Romney has to overcome a “wimp factor.”  Mr. President, we’ve seen you try to throw a baseball!

He does have time to conduct 205 fundraisers.  He does have time to carp on Romney’s tax returns.  He says that if Romney will release five years of tax returns, he’ll consider that sufficient.  Isn’t that sort of like the schoolyard bully saying “if you just give me your lunch money now, I’ll only give you half a beating”?  He insists that Romney’s refusal means he must be hiding something.  Shouldn’t that also hold true for his refusal to release his academic and passport records and the “Fast and Furious” documents?  By the way, Harry Reid has heard from a reliable source that both Romney and Ryan eat live kittens for breakfast.

Foolishly, there’s the LGBT volunteer who invaded and shot the guard at the Family Research Council.  But the biggest fool of the week was the Senior Fellow at Media Matters who said that Navy Seals “didn’t have guts.”   Nothing like a keyboard coward to knock the Social Security Administration’s purchase of 176,000 hollow point bullets out of the “Fool of the Week” award!  Sadly, it’s a tie for everyone in the chain of fools.