Monday, November 29, 2010

ASAP—Awesome Satire and Parody

By William L. Garvin

“My fellow Americans in all 57 states, the time has changed for come. With our country founded more than 20 centuries ago, we have much to celebrate – from the FBI’s 100 days to the reforms that bring greater inefficiencies to our health care system. We know that countries like Europe are willing to stand with us in our fight to halt the rise of privacy, and Israel is a strong friend of Israel’s. And let’s face it, everybody knows that it makes no sense that you send a kid to the emergency room for a treatable illness like asthma and they end up taking up a hospital bed. It costs, when, if you, they just gave, you gave them treatment early, and they got some treatment, and ah, a breathalyzer, or an inhalator. I mean, not a breathalyzer, ah, I don’t know what the term is in Austrian for that.”
Sarah Palin, Satirical Compendium of Obama Malapropisms

If you could only get information from the modern mainstream media, you would readily come to the conclusion that there never has been a conservative qualified for public office. Conversely, there has never been a liberal who was unqualified. This distorted viewpoint has come about for several reasons.

First, just as with university faculty, the vast majority of journalists self-identify as liberals and Democrat. Thus, they gaze more favorably on those who hold similar views to their own. Secondly, they see themselves as more informed, more intelligent, more knowledgeable and therefore more entitled than the vast majority of citizens. They see themselves as part and parcel of the “ruling class” or the elite of American society. Finally, they see no longer see themselves as objective reporters of fact but as image shapers and king makers.

The contemporary confluence of these critical concepts results in an inequitable and unfair presentation of facts to support their chosen ideology. For example, they continually disparaged George W. Bush as a country bumpkin, a slacker, and just flat out dumb. They chose to ignore the fact that his college grades were superior to their intellectual giant, Al Gore, who received a “D” in science while at Harvard. This was not the nadir of Gore’s academic experience: he dropped out of divinity school after receiving five F’s and then entered and dropped out of law school! According to syndicated columnist, Larry Elder, Bush also scored higher on his verbal SAT than did Rhodes Scholar, Bill Bradley.

Let’s not forget our current gaffe-a-minute Vice-President (as the media generally does) and his not so famous statement about that “…three-letter word—jobs. J-O-B-S, jobs.” That must be the new math. Maybe he was thinking about his strategy to divide Iraq into three parts, a concept that given closer examination would have qualified the author for psychiatric evaluation.

However, if a conservative slips up, then it’s a different story. Then it’s front page news and Pulitzer Prize time! The perfect example came when Sarah Palin inadvertently referred to North Korea as an ally. In the context of the interview, it was clear that she knew the difference between North and South Korea and referred to them appropriately several different times. The media chose to ignore all that in order to fabricate their own self serving story. The already vicious Palin Derangement Syndrome turned into a fresh feeding frenzy nationally and internationally—“she thinks North Korea is an ally!” What balderdash!

To point out the hypocritical double standard employed by the mainstream media, Palin penned a Facebook post that started out with the satirical paragraph quoted above. Observers of the political scene will recognize that it is a compendium of ten verbal slipups made by President Obama with little or no attention from the media. It parodies his predilection for malapropisms when not dictating from a teleprompter. It did not include his continued mispronouncing “corpsman” as “corpse-man” or his repeated failure to recognize our Creator as the source of our inalienable rights. All of these verbal gaffes are easily documented.

Now does President Obama really think there are 57 states (60 if you count the one he had yet to visit plus Alaska and Hawaii) or Europe is a country or Austrian is a language? Of course not. Neither does Sarah Palin think North Korea is an ally. Therein lies the failure of modern media. They show their bias in not only what they print but also what they fail to print, what they cover and what they fail to cover. They can’t be trusted and that’s a sad state of affairs for America.

Monday, November 22, 2010

SOS—Stuck on Stupid

By William L. Garvin

“Stupid is as stupid does.” Forrest Gump

When John Kerry testified before Congress as to the Viet Nam atrocities his fanciful imagination had conjured up, the media swallowed it up and repeated it without any reservation. They blithesomely ignored the fact that if he had personally viewed any of these acts he had a moral and legal obligation as an officer to intervene. It is no wonder that Communist leaders referred to this unholy alliance as “useful idiots” and supported their continuing assault on the morale and moral fabric of America.

It appears as if the useful idiots have been propagating in unhealthy proportions all the while “straining at gnats while swallowing camels.” This new generation of useful idiots now is reconfigured as the ruling class or intellectual elite. They seem to be the primary component of main stream media and political pundits. Fortunately, their modus operandi has become formulaic and predictable. First they will take a general swipe at the Tea Party; then they will take a gratuitous shot at Sarah Palin; and finally, they will congratulate themselves on their superiority and cleverness as they look down upon and lecture the great, unwashed masses. It transparently originates in the Alinsky radical playbook of “isolating, personalizing, and ridiculing” any opposition.

A recent example of this was an extensive grammatical critique of a Tea Party sign which said “You can’t fix stupid, but you can vote it out.” Obviously the author failed to demonstrate a working knowledge of colloquialisms (an informal word or phrase that is more common in conversation than in formal speech or writing) although as a long time sufferer of PDS (Palin Derangement Syndrome) he did manage to toss in an unctuous “you betcha!” Heaven forbid we should ever delve into idiom or dialect as a conversational vehicle.

For those who are having difficulty divining the meaning of “stupid” in the above context, the following clarification is offered. “Stupid” is a state of mind prominently exhibited in Washington, D.C., where they think that it is economically feasible to spend a country into prosperity. “Stupid” is a legal decision to move trials of Islamic terrorists from military tribunals to civilian courts and then managing to get only 1 conviction out of 286 charges! “Stupid” is thinking that the massive loss of Democrat seats in the November election is because of a “lack of communication.”

“Stupid” is reelecting Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid as two legs of the three-legged Obama administration leadership stool after they set the stage for a historical loss of power in both the House and the Senate. “Stupid” is a country that is rich in natural resources that refuses to use them in an environmentally sensitive manner thereby insuring continued dependency on foreign oil. “Stupid” is $600 billion worth of Monopoly money disguised as “quantitative easing” that is guaranteed to reduce the value of any savings you have managed to accumulate.

Furthermore, “stupid” is a state of government mind (control) that refuses to secure our border with Mexico but has no problem conducting searches of every passenger in an airline terminal without probable cause or even reasonable suspicion. “Stupid” is that same state of mind that says you can add 30 million people to the health care rolls and everyone else’s premium will go down. “Stupid” is a court decision that declares it’s okay to charge American citizen students more tuition and fees than illegal alien students have to pay.

“Stupid” is also a prevalent voter condition in coastal states that thinks anyone living west of New York or east of San Francisco is an ignorant rube that needs a nanny state to take care of their every need. Thus this voter condition known as “stupid” is capable of taking someone whose only identifiable skill set is reading off a teleprompter and electing him President of the United States! To this voter condition, if Barack Obama excites a crowd, he’s charismatic; if Sarah Palin excites a crowd, she’s a celebrity or a rock star. If Sarah Palin has a documentary about her home state of Alaska, it’s a reality show; if Barack Obama is a guest on Ryan Seacrest’s show, that’s somehow presidential. Furthermore, despite being an allegedly “brilliant” Consitutional scholar (unsubstantiated), he continues to shred the Constitution.

Upon reflection, maybe that sign should properly read: “You can’t fix Stupid, but you can vote him out!”

Monday, November 8, 2010

California Commits Economic Suicide

By William L. Garvin

A tidal wave of historic proportions swept across America on November 2d. The tsunami was fueled by currents of fiscal conservatism and a repudiation of irresponsible government spending. Unfortunately, the economic wave crashed and receded when it reached the Not-So-Golden State. California voters chose to reelect the same old tired faces with the same old tired tax and spend liberal philosophies.

Apparently voters in this Deep Blue Democrat state don't understand just how serious California's fiscal crisis really is. They should know there is a $19 billion state debt. They should know that California has had to borrow $8 billion from the broken federal treasury just to pay the current unemployment insurance debt load. They should know that California is ranked 48 out of 50 states when it comes to being "business friendly." They should know that 170 businesses left the state in the last year. Countless others just shuttered their doors and windows and closed up shop. They should know that unemployment in this state is over 12% and there is no relief on the horizon.

They should also know that the California Public Employees Retirement System, the California State Teachers Retirement System, and the University of California Retirement System have combined liabilities of $89 billion for the year beginning July 1. According to the Milken Institute study, these three systems alone will have combined liabilities of over 5.5 times the TOTAL state tax revenue by 2012! Some estimates are that unfunded pension liabilities are over one-half TRILLION dollars! Bloomberg News reported at last month's Cities and Debt Briefing that fewer than half the pension funds had sufficient assets to cover even 80% of promised benefits in FY 2009.

So given these dire financial straits, what did SEIU, AFSCME, CTA, and the other public employee unions do? They poured hundreds of millions of dollars into the campaign to insure they would continue to have a Santa Claus legislature and a Sugar Daddy governor. They also turned out the vote to reduce the requirement for approving the state budget from two-thirds to a simple majority. Accordingly, the resistance to increased spending and higher taxes offered by the Republican minority is now rendered null and void. Taxpayers can kiss their wallets goodbye!

After shooting themselves in one economic foot, the voters turned around and shot themselves in the other foot. California could have suspended its self-imposed "Global Warming Tax" until the economy improved but decided not to…even though the tax will do absolutely nothing to prevent global warming! If a business needed another reason not to relocate to California, there's a huge one. If homeowners were worried about making ends meet in a stagnant economy, how about an increase of nearly $3,800 per year for gasoline, natural gas, electricity, and food prices as a result of this feel good foolishness?

Of course the Prop 23 opponents trumpet that 500,000 new green jobs will be created. What a pipe dream. That would only be believable if Prop 19 had passed. For instance, when the government mandated fluorescent light bulbs, the last GE plant making incandescent bulbs closed down and tossed two hundred workers out on the streets. Who makes the fluorescent bulbs? Naturally, it's China, where hundreds of workers have been hospitalized because of exposure to and subsequent mercury poisoning while manufacturing the bulbs.

Then there's Solyndra, "…touted by President Barack Obama as a model for a green energy future." The President proudly announced $535 million in taxpayer loans in 2009 to Solyndra to open a second plant in California, hire 1,000 new workers, and make solar panels. Keep in mind that Solyndra has never shown a profit, cancelled their Initial Public Offering, and had their CEO quit. Not too surprisingly, they have now closed their East Bay plant, stopped expansion on their Fremont plant, and instead of hiring another 1,000 workers, they are laying off between 155 to 175 members of their current work force. They can't compete with other manufacturers in China or the United States. Given the global warming tax coming up, expect them to fail completely or relocate to Texas.

Given our current path to financial ruin, we'll soon be revising the lyrics to an old country song. "All the gold in California…is in a bank in old Shanghai…in a Chinese hedge fund's name."

Monday, November 1, 2010

Which Way Today, USA?

By William L. Garvin

“The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance.” Cicero, circa 55 BC

Once again, it is the morning after the Election Day before and America’s course has been charted for the next two years…or has it? Will we continue down the path of decline as did the Roman Empire (with a couple of intermediate experimental stages in Euro socialism) or will we call a halt to the horrendous growth of government, central planning, and elitist rule? Will the President recognize that he is the servant of the American people and listen to their clarion call or will he continue his despotic reign through executive fiat and the strangling red tape of bureaucratic regulation and confiscation? Will the lame duck Congress try to continue their radical agenda or will they yield to their duly elected and more conservative successors? Will the President continue to “punish his enemies” by seizing their property in ever larger amounts and “redistributing” it to his friends and contributors? Given the political chicanery leading up to Election Day in early voting, some of these answers may be slow in coming.

In close races, will we find more boxes of ballots in the trunks of poll workers’ cars such as those that carried Al Franken to victory in Minnesota? Will we again recount ballots time after time until there are enough votes to carry Patty Murray to victory in Washington? Will the newly invented procedure of posting Lisa Murkowski’s name in the polling booths as a write-in candidate be enough to insure her victory? Did the CBS television station in Alaska find a child molester in the Republican candidate’s audience or did they have to hire one for their “story”? Will the main stream media EVER return to their rightful role as the “watchdog of the people” or will they continue to parrot the party line as a propaganda puppet of liberal causes? Will the 600 Democrat ballots in Buck County, Pennsylvania that have already been disqualified be magically reinstated? Will the 8,000 quarantined ballots in that same county receive a “fair and impartial” review?

Will the Department of Justice investigate why the voting machines in Nevada’s early voting that already had Harry Reid’s name checked? Since members of SEIU service and maintain these machines, will they be investigated and held accountable? Why were there reports out of Florida that ALL of the Democrat candidates already had their names checked on the electronic voting machines? Why do we already have reports of fraud in Texas?

In the biggest travesty of all, will our military men and women have their absentee ballots counted at all? The failure of 14 states to insure that these ballots were mailed to our service personnel in time for their votes to be cast and counted lies somewhere between bureaucratic incompetence deserving of termination and criminal malfeasance deserving of prosecution. Is it any surprise that Illinois is the most egregious offender in this category? Since Eric Holder would not pursue the Black Panther voter intimidation case even when additional corroborating testimony came forward, it is highly unlikely that he will see anything of merit in this injustice either.

Unless the integrity of our electoral process is zealously guarded, our constitutional republic will be on a perilous course. Unless our apathetic citizenry begins to educate themselves on the issues and the process, this great experiment in representational democracy will continue to erode and fade until we find ourselves on the ash heap of history. Any political “dirty tricks”, chicanery, or fraud on the part of any political party, affiliated organization, or independent entity that corrupts an open and honest election should be condemned by all and dealt with in the harshest of terms. If our election process continues to be contaminated, if the people lose faith in the selection of our leaders, if the ruling elite seek to maintain power at any cost, if corruption is the rule as opposed to the exception, then be afraid. Be very, very afraid.

This is a great and wonderful country built on extraordinary principles. It still shines as a beacon of freedom to the entire world. As Thomas Jefferson noted: “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.” Be vigilant America…be very, very vigilant!