Don’t Worry, Be Happy!

By William L. Garvin

“Aint got no place to lay your head,
somebody came and took your bed,
don't worry, be happy
the landlord say your rent is late,
he may have to litagate,
don’t worry, be happy"

Bobby McFerrin

There is only one president in USA history that has presided over a budget with a trillion dollar deficit.  That is Barack H. Obama.  He has the ignominious record of now having accomplished that feat four years in a row.  It is very likely that he will make it eight years in a row at his current pace.  Since the national debt was $10.6 trillion when he took office and now stands at $16.3 trillion, we can project him leaving office with America over $20 trillion in arrears!  He will have outspent George Bush by over two to one!  Don’t worry, be happy.

The federal budget year runs from October 1 through September 30 of the following year.  For October, the first month of this 2012-2013 budget cycle, Washington ran up a $120 billion deficit.  This is 22% higher than October of last year.  We have yet to see any increase in the labor force participation rate, any decrease in the number of people on food stamps, or any significant reason for employers to begin hiring.  There is no indication that things are going to get any better but don’t worry, be happy.

Our economic problems are compounded by the federal government “bitterly clinging” to its absurd fiscal policy of baseline budgeting.  This fiscal behemoth institutionalizes government growth.  Since 1974, they have taken the current expenditures and multiplied it by a factor for inflation and population growth.  Similar to compounding interest, government compounds already bloated budgets.  It automatically goes up without any congressional action.  Remember, the Senate has not produced a budget since 2009.  When the President produced his mockery of a budget, it couldn’t even get a single Democrat vote.  Don’t worry, be happy.

When it comes to budget cuts, both parties only talk about reductions in the future rates of growth.  Why isn’t there a discussion of a freeze at current spending levels?  Why isn’t there a discussion of a cut back to 2010 levels?  Or 2008?  Or 2006?  Why isn’t there discussion of actual reductions in current levels of spending?  Keep on spending…keep on investing…forward to prosperity.  Don’t worry, be happy.

Some people object to across the board spending cuts because it reduces effective programs as well as ineffective programs.  Unfortunately, targeting specific programs never seems to work.  Politicians feel obligated to bring home “pork” to their constituents.  They are obligated to the interests that funded their campaigns.  The U.S. Postal Service just lost $15.9 billion dollars, triple the losses of last year.  Most green energy can only exist with government subsidies.  Planned Parenthood has over a billion dollars in assets but still gets taxpayer money.  Big Bird and its Sesame Street cohorts pay its CEO nearly a million dollars and is a toy marketing machine.  We throw billions of dollars into a foreign aid sinkhole with no appreciable results.  This administration shows no inclination to reduce its “investment” in any of these areas.  In fact, can you name one specific cut to any federal program that President Obama has put “forward”?  But don’t worry, be happy.

Everyone should take a lesson from Richard Trumka, head of the AFL-CIO, who recently said: "There is no fiscal cliff."  In addition:  "What we’re facing is an obstacle course within a manufactured crisis that was hastily thrown together in response to inflated rhetoric about our federal deficit."  Who knew sixteen trillion was mythical?  Tell it to the coal miners who have been thrown out of work.  Tell it to the 18,500 workers who used to have jobs with Hostess but may soon be standing in unemployment lines because they listened to their union bosses.  Tell it to all the employees who are having their hours cut to less than thirty hours per week.  Tell it to the fifty percent of last year’s college graduates who are unable to find a job.  Tell it to the 7.9% unemployed.  To all of you, don’t worry, be happy.

Remaking and Marketing the GOP

By William L. Garvin

 

Now that the election is over and the American people have spoken, it is clear that the Republican Party needs an extreme makeover in order to become “culturally relevant” and acceptable to today’s electorate.  First of all, you have to scrap all that Judeo-Christian stuff.  All of that talk about Heaven, Hell, and Jesus makes people uncomfortable.  Exile God from the platform, the government, and the country.  As for sin, that’s such an outmoded concept.   Why shouldn’t I be able to do what I want to do without being judged by others?

 

You need to have an updated, culturally relevant Bible.  When it says to honor your father and your mother, it needs to address two fathers or two mothers.  The idea that marriage is between one man and one woman is so quaint, so old fashioned.  It’s just one of many lifestyle choices. That “life begins at conception” stuff also has got to go.  Since we’re entitled to life, liberty, and happiness, terminating that “tissue mass” which would be inconvenient to my contemporary lifestyle shouldn’t be any big deal.

 

While we’re at it, stop relying on that musty old Constitution.  After all, it was written by a bunch of old fogies a long time ago.  It may have been fine for them back in the dark ages but not a one of them knew how to operate a smart phone or a computer.  Get with the times!  They thought that government should have limited, specifically enumerated powers.  How can government give out “free stuff” if we listen to those codgers and what they intended?  Don’t worry about paying for it—you can spend your way into prosperity!  Once you’re too big to fail, the government can print some more money.

 

When it comes to votes, it’s a buyers’ market, GOP.  What can you give me?  All men are created equal so where’s my free stuff to make me equal?  Don’t give me any of that “don’t covet your neighbor’s goods” shtick, either.  Whatever anyone else has, I should have.  All those rich, nasty, old white men cheated and stole to get it so it’s no big deal if we take it away from them.  They hate poor people, they hate minorities, they hate sick people, they hate the environment, and they hate women so they deserve to be punished.

 

Another thing, GOP, you’re going to need a lot of money, probably several billion dollars.  You need to have a sophisticated political analysis and marketing operation.  It needs to dissect, simplify, separate, isolate and target specific sections of the electorate.  Different strokes for different folks.  Don’t worry about consistency.  You can advocate amnesty for illegals and still court union votes while ignoring the fact we have eight percent unemployment.  You can provide free birth control, free condoms, advocate homosexual marriage, use taxpayer money for abortions and still ask for the support of evangelical churches and claim to be a Christian.  The prevailing principle is “more personal pleasure.”  Get ahead of the curve and legalize and provide free marijuana along with food stamps.  Good old Alinsky principles work every time.

 

Another reason you’ll need a lot of money is you have to flood the airwaves with commercials that assassinate the character of your opposition.  Truth is irrelevant if you can destroy their image through the politics of personal destruction.  All’s fair in love, war, and politics.  Don’t worry if people say they hate negative advertising—it works.  Besides, they will forget and forgive all the lies and dirty tricks when you win--because winning is everything.  Another reason for needing money is you have to buy a bunch of television stations and newspapers so you have a cadre of “reporter supporters” who glorify your every move and NEVER ask probing questions about important issues.

 

If anyone challenges you with foolish concepts like balanced budgets, limited government, free market capitalism, reducing the national debt, or lowering unemployment, label them as extremists or Tea Party radicals.  If you don’t get your way, shout that it’s because the others are unwilling to compromise.  Always take personal credit for anything positive that happens in any part of the known universe.  And whatever you do, never admit that anything you have ever done was wrong.  Never accept any personal blame or accountability for anything negative that happens.  In fact, be offended if they even ask.  Always have someone else to blame.  Keep blaming Bush.  It’s the new, proven political path to success. 

 

 

Mr. President—Clean Up This Mess!

By William L. Garvin

Let’s pray that by the time this is being read on Wednesday, the election war will be over, the victories will be decisive, the armies of lawyers will be told to stand down, and the UN inspectors will be on the first plane out of town.  Good riddance to the latter and thank heaven we will not have to listen to any more of those disgusting campaign commercials.  As near as can be told, there is not a single decent person running for any office anywhere in this land!  Why worry about possible “voter suppression” when you have concrete evidence of “candidate suppression.”  So, whoever you are, Mr. President, get down to work!

There is no question that you have inherited quite a difficult situation.  The first order of business should be to bring the Senate Majority Leader and the Speaker of the House into the Oval office, bang their heads together and say “I want a budget!  No sequestration; no continuing resolution; no elimination of the “Bush tax cuts”; no trillion dollar deficit!  You will stay in session until the Peoples’ work is done!  When you’re done with that, come up with a feasible plan to reduce the ridiculous $16 trillion debt and restore the credit rating of the USA!”

Mr. President, don’t complain that “you’ve inherited a mess.”  You asked for the job so fix it!  You just spent a billion dollars to get it, so no whining!  Right off the bat, take care of those poor people who have been isolated, decimated, and aggravated in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy.  Make sure they have electricity, water, food and fuel.  It is heartbreaking to see those poor souls on Staten Island who feel they are forgotten and ignored.

Get people back to work!  There are hundreds of thousands of layoffs being planned so new economic directions are critical.  Stop the “strangulation through excessive regulation” strategy that has its foot on the throat of small business in America.  Forty percent of Americans have less than $500 in savings.  That’s unconscionable but predictable when one-sixth of the country is living in poverty.  GDP growth is anemic and the labor force participation rate is the lowest in decades.  Fifty percent of college graduates were unable to find employment last year.  That’s a disgrace.

Now that the election is over, assuming we have no hanging chad controversies and innumerable court challenges, there are some other messes to clean up.  Why is the cost of health insurance going up so fast when the “cost curve” was supposed to be going down?  Why are so many employers dropping health insurance coverage for their employees?  Why is the cost of college tuition going up so fast?  Additionally, what really happened in the “Fast and Furious” fiasco?  What really happened in Benghazi?  When will those investigations be completed and the results made known to the American people?  Why has it taken over three years to try Major Nidal Hassan, the homegrown terrorist, for the Fort Hood massacre?  It’s time to call it what it is: terrorism, not workplace violence! 

While you’re at it, how about developing a common sense approach to energy independence?  So far, the Department of Energy has been an incredible failure despite its incredible expansion in staff and budget over the years.  The promised five million green energy jobs never materialized.    In the green energy realm, company after company is falling by the wayside.  The same thing is happening to them in Europe.  Invest the taxpayer money in research and development but stop wasting money on unproven, ineffective, and inefficient technologies…even if those companies were put together by campaign donors!

When you’re done with that, come back to “We, the People” again.  We’ve got some other concerns regarding foreign policy.  Why are we pouring so much money into the United Nations?  Why are we pouring so much money into foreign countries, with no strings attached, who continually vote and act against our best interests?  How should we sanction those who threaten our national security?  How do we keep our American citizens safe in hostile lands?

Mr. President, we need our national media to hold you accountable for results, not promises; for deeds, not words; for truth and transparency, not half-truths and back room deals.  Of course, Mr. President, that will only happen if you are a Republican!  Nonetheless, Mr. President, clean up this mess.  We, the People demand it and we deserve it.